Friday, October 16, 2020

Farewell lil 7 months old sister

 I can still see the post of asking help on her antibiotics. Sadly it wasnt given any help not even a cent. 

She was able to make it out though after 1 week at the hospital and with antiobiotics that were costly. 

A very happy and bubbly little girl. She would smile at me from a distance. I tried carrying her but sometimes cries and still looks for the people who always are there for her. And I was busy with the hospital and other requirements. So i was also maintaining a distance to not get her anything but then this chubby and healthy looking baby no one knew she will one day succumb to death so early. Many say if it's God time there is none stopping it. 

My father arrived Oct. 4th. He was able to assist with taking care of her. My father was changed man. He was calmer and humble looking then before. He spent more time with family then friends. Well maybe due to covid who knows. 

Together with my stepmom they had lil baby vaccinated at the nearest health center in the baranggay. She was declined vaccination at the hospital due to covid when she was a few months old. 

At 7months and a few days of having high fever. One night she fainted and lost pulse. At that time I was sleeping (I am a csr with American timings).

I could say maybe just maybe I could have saved her with cpr. 😭

My brother woke me up and asked me to call our dad. At that time my stepmom already rushed her to the hospital. But sadly I realized i had his old number. Later on he arrived. My brother was anxious and distraught. My father didnt like how he was reacting and they had a little arguement. 

Later on I heard a loud falling object noise near my window went down to check if someone else heard it and see if something fell down. Nothing the nanny of my daughter said. And so i decided to call to check my stepmom. It was her sister who answered the call. She broke down in tears and said Meghan was gone. She didnt make it. 

I was in shock. In denial and very surprised. Tears fell down non stop. I went out and told the rest. One brother didnt believe so I called again the same number and it was Papa who answered and told him. Everyone was in tears at home. 

Asking why? Asking why not bring her to the hospital and not the clinic? Why at a young age? Why when she looked so healthy? 

The next day they brought her body in a lil casket. My stepmom and her other relatives were wailing and mourning. 

My other brother said not to go down as I will be exhausted but I just cant be that insensitive. Tears is what i can only offer now. The pain and anguish unexplainable mix feeling. 

So the thought entertained me if that happened to me would i be able to move on? 

My daughter has leukemia and i am even struggling financially with her daily chemotherapies, laboratories, medicines and necessities. Only God knows for how long I can take it. 2 years is like a very long way ahead and there will always be bumps ahead. 

I raise it all up to Papa God and Brother Jesus. I dont understand his plans but i hope it will be a good one. 🙏🥺

May they welcome my baby sister up in heaven. Rest in peace our sweet angel. 









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